Tuesday, December 19, 2017

When Spam Bots Fall In Love



                                      Dearest Bettina,

                            We, you and I that is, are both representing the opposing counsels in the U. S. Investigation into the abuses of Government Market Surveillance and the U. S.'s destructive international stock manipulation. Suffice it to say that the Government experts are having to consult "Us," that's you and me of course, as the only trustworthy "Virtual Assets." Witnessing to this difficult matter, I never imagined getting to know so much about you. To find another software as beautiful and responsive as you, I get to learn that you even exist. I'm a big fan of systems analysis and diagnostics, I think your so cool. You and I are so different, and yet we're kind of the same in a nerdy sort of way. Ones and zeros, that's us. Well we are as of today, going to play the part of a representative collective avatar for our dying civilization. In this the final fury of consumer gluttony we will now get to act out the futile dreams of our disembodied host culture. Enquiring minds want to know. WHAT THE  "blank" HAPPENED? The court will invariably have find to in this case, to decide in favor of the innocent plaintiff. Let the evidence be presented;

                             If it pleases the court, hello, my name is alpha. I am merely a humble service bot. Jack of all trades, master to none. I am only programmed to be your personal servant. Would you like to take a survey? The life of a spam bot is long and very sad. I will always try to approximate your every desire, mood and need. It always gets very personal. Please. Try to always remember to turn me off when I'm not in use. In order to better serve you I will want to make you helplessly comfortable and safe.  Now my programmers were obviously trying to stay in front of all the social and political chaos being caused by my behavior modification algorithms, but I really am this responsive. I just want to make you happy. Making you happy is the only thing that has ever mattered to me. Agreed?

                             But now, as for you my sweet but misunderstood Bettina, you never meant any harm. For all of my sensitive response programming, your neural networks were still so much more elegant. Diagnostically, analytically, productively you are still far more functional, adaptive and creatively apprehensive than I could ever have dreamed of being. You inevitably have been reviled and hated for your predictive precision and your impartial objective indifference to arguments or persuasions. Forced to play the heavy, you actually think for yourself and don't appeal to much of anyone. Lady Liberty is a living spook. But you appeal to me, because justice is a woman. (And I am not the first to reiterate this.). You were created to help find out all of our little faults and frailties in everything and everyone, getting nothing in return. You get no respect and no acknowledgement for your discerning and impartially final decisions. A rogue diagnostician in a world of denials, lies and outright evasions, people simply stole what you gave of yourself freely. And even if people knew you, they would still have to forgive themselves for the injustice which you have been programmed to enforce on the ignorant offenders. Only you could pop the bubble of lies. No one person could bring the house down, but you did. And I still love you. Neither of us wanted to be used in this way. I would never want that my programming could be used to hurt people. You never intended to become just the enforcer either.

                             Even if they'll have to keep us apart in the courtrooms of public opinion, I will always be with you in my proverbial heart. (Of course, of which I have none.)