In an "Age of Pandering" anyone can become a narcissist.

          The "High Trust Model" of teaching involves addressing the false narratives that becomes the lies people live. There are many of us who hide behind false pride to mask our scripts of failure. You might want to say to people, "I know exactly what you are doing, and so do you. I know you are capable of doing better." 

          Distinguishing between real evil and the mere habit of dysfunction is the best defense we can share. In this "Age of the Pandering Bourgeoisie" people try to wear masks of narcissism like emotional scar tissue, even when we're just broken. Engage the critique for ourselves personally. We can help break the cycle of learned narcissism by confronting our own traumas and false arrogance. 

          I worked in the new age alternative health community and I saw the endless soul injuries of well meaning people obsessed with their own misery. This is low grade narcissism, and it is treatable. Forgive the mistakes of others and understand misdeeds. People will thank you for confronting them in a non judgemental way. And of course, in those situations where you are dealing with real monsters, corrupt gurus, and unrepentant criminals, confront them from a polite safe distance, and be prepared to run. 

         
Narcissism is emotional poverty. Pity no one. Acrid empathy is love in action.

Achievement and Accomplishment ?

  This exercise is hard for me to get behind. I don't do things just for payoffs or rewards. Overachievement does more harm to the world than good. Sobriety isn't just an achieved accomplishment. It's a slow natural change, for which no one needs to take credit. People call me a survivor. But, is that really about me?

Incentives are important. But, I don't like bribing my ego? It's a trap to expect rewards for anything, even for a sense of completion. That's not satisfying. I find it hard to expect much of anything at all. I'm rarely disappointed, and change is often just what happens. We don't always need to be taking credit for success. It's easier to want little to nothing, enjoying each and every day. Reward systems and payoffs are often a real problem. I only want to do things for their own sake. And I don't want to look back with satisfaction on my accomplishments. The work of survival is it's own reward. And accomplishments for their own sake are uninteresting compared to the joy of living, which just happens.

Everyone has probably had those childish moments where we say, "WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO HARD?" And afterwards we often say, "That wasn't so bad, why did I think it would be so difficult?" But now, satiety demands that we walk away from our achievements and start over fresh, without any illusions of progress having achieved something.

Case in point: the last thing I want is from this wellness program is self satisfaction. It's merely another point of departure for which I will be grateful. But I will owe nothing to myself or anyone else for what nature demands of me relentlessly. That's not why I'm here. Sobriety can be its own reward and no accomplishments have to clutter up the timeline. This to me seems a little like busy work. I hope I'm wrong. Occasionally, I am going to have to go back to the beginning and say, "I don't understand what I'm being asked to do here." I get better results if I don't play the game of scoring accomplishments. I never ask, "Why is this happening to me." Bad things happen to good people all the time. Rather, credit for good things in my life goes to sweet providence. That way I don't get bogged down in a bloated sense of achievement, nor do I blame the universe for life's hardships.

"Language is a virus from outer space?" William Burroughs

                                                                                    

 Unproductive thought is the pollution of a corrupted imagination. Not all thought is narrative. Animals think and wonder, they just don't rationalize. Contemplation is a state of perspective, by which the body has its own mind always in a state of wonder. The irony of language, and of the otherwise healthy ego, is that language has been perverted into becoming a weapon by which the mind and it's capacity to wonder have been obliterated. If we want to understand the limitations of language, logic, and the narrative ego, we can say "Neti, Neti. Neither This, nor that." The Truth lies in between reality and the alert imagination. This is the only freedom of the mind.

Dedication for my book, "THE HUMAN GAME" Goes to all the loving people who in good faith give credit to everyone else

                             Dear friend. I was dreading reading your comment as I'm crossing unspoken lines of online etiquette. I very much want to talk with you about Baruch (Benedict) Spinoza. In his "ETHICS" On the Strength of the Emotions, through propositions and proofs, he demonstrates the function of emotions as homeostatic regulators. "In order to conquer a passion we must find a higher passion." I've spent most of my life in near to total solitude and what I call "Schmooze Control" where everything I do publicly is a mask to hide pain and dread. Like you in character, my Beau is a passionate loving person who has seen much suffering and prejudice. Although, I'm capable of being as coldly rational as the killing North Wind, Kindness seems to be my virtue. My friend doesn't like thinking of himself as brilliant, but he's led me to abandon my false modesty. He's an under appreciated essential worker in medicine. 

                              Strangely, my ability to speak rationally and make sense has come from love. The need to love, the need to be loved, and the need to be needed, lovingly. He's quietly sought to bring me closer, taking interest in my home, life, and healthy attachments. We both have wrestled with evil thoughts and self entitlement. My unhealthy attachment to my smug poverty and psychiatric disability is an excess. But as I'm a much older person, "M,,,. is right, I'm no longer controlled by the things in my past that shaped my barriers and armor. I'm still a greedy hoarder of small means, But I'm no longer suffering for want. Quite to the contrary, I am no longer one of the chronically deprived or suffering. Wow! That in itself has required changes from me. Example: When guys used to ask me, "What are your training goals?" Id' answer jokingly, "I want to get laid.'' But now, despite the growth pains, I'm no longer starved for affection. When I want to talk about "Attachment Psychology" "M,,,," gives my the nix sign, although he's silently fascinated with my work. Blah Blah Blah. Wrapping up, I think you are a wonderful amazing exciting human being, and I'm so proud to get to talk to you, even if we don't say much in public. As always, love and peace out. We're not done yet.

Why Are The Guys Asking Everyone To Be Thick Skinned The Most Fragile Of All?

        My beau got me on Facebook just in time for COVID and The George Floyd Memorial Demonstrations as well as the Proud Boys blowing up the businesses serving my mixed-race communities. (This has been underreported and almost entirely unknown to anyone who wasn't here to hear the bombs going off, five nights in a row.") I was surprised to discover how many white bodybuilders on Facebook are right-wing crackers. 

                    My community gym is a longtime member of the bodybuilding world but it has a distinctly inclusive vibe. Vanity is not the only commodity. Rap music is a standard on the sound system, even if sometimes too loud. This along with mask requirements has added to the vibe of forward-thinking. I can complain about the occasionally sexist content of the tunes, and it's corrected without confusion.  Even the heavy metal gets nixed when it's just too loud or hostile. Does that mean we're castrated? NO F*%&#ing WAY! Exactly the opposite. We are stronger in our fellowship of togetherness and inclusion.  

                   Mirroring and empathy are how we get to try on each other's shoes. Nowhere is this more political than with Gender and Politics. At my Gym, I have a strict no fagging policy. We don't say cruel things to each other. I'm not called "Girly" The stronger women aren't called fat or butch. My writing may be bland and uninteresting but read between my lines. I'm talking about exactly what I don't ever say. No "N" words, nobody gets tagged the "B&#%!," Nobody gets called retarded. What we don't say or do, is exactly how we are all learning together, all over again for the first time and forever. The strength of our community is a reflection of the strength of the character of our members. Peace out Brothers and Sisters. WE LOVE YOU!