When was the last time you felt real joy? Emotional relations have several layers of contact. We all do dream together. Let's explore how we make dreams happen:
1.) At the core of all Inter Relations, we have the Unity of Self; This external boundary defines our discreet distinctiveness as individuals, exclusive from all that is the other. (Or Others, if you prefer. All "Others" are also independently discreet Selfs.) Our contact with the outside world is this most primary of all contacts. (It's speculated that emotional bonding {Including inter-species } is in no way limited to Human Relations only.)
2.) Next we have Familiarity; where most of our close ongoing daily social interactions happen. This usually includes close Family, Job Mates and even Roommates when we see each other very routinely. Familiarity can breed contempt. But much of the stress can be caused simply by Too Much Information, (Overexposure and Saturation) and of course shared mutual Experience. (Be it good experience or bad experience.) This is where we first learn to be unconsciously co-dependent and/or dysfunctionally helpless. Affections rising to this level of connectivity are very vulnerable to broken trusts and/or failed communications. "We only hate the ones we love." We are often much more inclined to tolerate a family members behaviors when we think it is necessary or unavoidable. The most profound and potentially grievous feelings of familial affection and loss, usually stem from our emotionally real familiarity.
3.) Wrapping around us is our next area of exposure is just general Intimacy. In an Extended Community or Functional Fellowship and even in Large Groups, people can know and trust you personally without unnecessary dependencies. We can include teachers, barbers and doctors, trainers, therapists, even certain neighbors, occasional some clergy and even our most beloved shop keepers. "Friendly but never overly Familiar!" All the while in fact we are all casually grooming each other while supporting each others need fulfillment in society . In our casually intimate mutual support, we provide each other helpful feedback (Debriefing) that we can't get in no other ways. Intimates know you well and trust you without being dependent on you in any direct way. Many of our most functional relations are of this third type of contact. We must include people who can influence us while minding their own business. Just like good teachers or therapists, anyone can become a casual Confidant. This level of understanding between intimates often exceeds that of routine familiars, and sometimes can even include significant emotional affairs. Casual intimacies can occur between strangers even upon first meeting. This is why emotional affairs are so difficult to maintain without a respectfully discreet polite detachment. And even then most long distance affairs need to survive beyond that distant friend zone. Intimates can make the best friends, but often we are much more approachable than a friend might necessarily be. Intimates don't always have to have that much in common with a mutually trusted confidant. These larger social contexts for interaction can be clannish, with heavily segmented social codes and in and out groups. (However clannishness usually accelerates the breakdown of trusts and loyalty.)
4.) Sheltering our fertile zones for temporary Intimacies, are our true Friends. Friends will usually take on a long term flavor that steeps in the radiance of the other three previous "Spheres of Emotional Influence." Many of these layers of bonding can overlap and intersect with other, creating significant complex relationships. Friends can grow into family, occasionally family can be our best friend. Friends don't need to see each other all the time, we can always pick up where we left off. Friends generally don't share the same degree of personal data we might share out of necessity with an intimate or family member. Nor do we need report all the shared day to day experiences familiarly with our closest friends. The differences in the shared specifics we share are often simply because, "There is never enough time to visit." So the pressure to say everything is not there any more between friends, as much as it is for any of the other layers of regular contact. True friendship is the most dispassionate and excepting of all the other planes of emotional contact and thus help to hold together all the other social frames over time. (Jealousies are usually a symptom of a fear of abandonment.)
Now obviously this is just a primer on mutual dreaming amongst social bonds. "All relations are transitional," and we can change relative positions. I've intentional left out, "Those whom we love to hate" because they have nothing to do with healthy dis-objectified sensitive connections, which are usually dysfunctional at some level.
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