Pathologically Self Reliant people are tired of being labeled avoidant. I am not a product. "Trust builds trust. Mind the gap." (You'll be glad you did.)
Jennifer Fern says in her book, “EXISTENTIAL KINK”“Being with the wrong guy can be a lot of fun.”
I also have been the wrong guy too. I’m not just avoidant and checked out, I’m all over the place. But, I own up to my inner avoidant, everyone has one. "Know thy Cra!" (Short for crazy.) When we know those patterns of behavior that cover a whole spectrum of potentially crippling physical and emotional conditions, we often helping others to know the truth about us, and themselves too. We all want to stop the shameful obsessing, every now and then. Denying self denial is definitely super cra! We all do it.
> When I'm not saying yes, I'm definitely saying no! {Ironic statement for self acknowledgement, Please, mind the gap.} Those of us who are avoidant need to get it together, with ourselves and each other. We, the Avoidant must Unite. (More Irony?) We will only let others in when we want to, and not until. Please ask, and be patient. We can't help it.
So, who better understands the twisted language of us conflict averse people, better than other stiff, stoic, quiet martyrs, clueless heroes, and conscientious loners. Male, female, gay or straight, Virtue is still very sexy and integrity is always super hot. But competitive dating for value, is a relationship slaughter house. And no one wants to be throwing themselves at futile propositions.
Therefore, I’m not enticed. I’m not even overly avoidant. The term Avoidant has become the new pop diagnosis. Blah blah, blah. Who honestly isn’t? Anyone can become a narcissist in the wrong environment. As a toddler, I was first diagnosed with infantile Autism. Then decades later diagnosed OCD and or ADHD. Then when hospitalized with pre teen terminal depression I grew into manic depression. The Meds over decades have changed, and services have evolved. With hospitalization for Addiction came that fresh diagnosis of narcissistic borderline personality disorder, PTSD and delusional grandiose dissociation. When the issue of a bad or dysfunctional conduct is mine, I too, prefer to be very alone.
Maybe none of these labels apply all the time, but I accept the critique. I am better for engaging each critique in order to develop new adaptive skills. Along the way, most everything I have been diagnosed with is now supposedly in remission. But, I've also told along the that most of these illnesses would never go away, much less respond to treatment. What gives? Did I do anything wrong or unexpected? Was it anyone’s fault? Domestic casualties have always been a fact of life, for humans throughout history. What’s changed? I’m not complaining per say, (well not much) but change is good. Diet, lifestyle, community changes, it's all good. When we don’t respect that people change, we are all doomed!
The whole Hard-sell for this whole wellness industry thing is a bit of a red flag giving people false hope. I think the medical industry is coming off a little too desperate to make a sale. (There's Gold in them ills.) The unexpressed expectations and costs of recovery is a big put off to many well informed clients and consumers. I would suggest we all speak proactively with your providers, and most will respect our honesty.
If there is a hole in the trust we feel, we all need to “Mind the gap.” It's not just a curtesy, it’s a warning. Physician heal thyself.
Therefore, I’m not enticed. I’m not even overly avoidant. The term Avoidant has become the new pop diagnosis. Blah blah, blah. Who honestly isn’t? Anyone can become a narcissist in the wrong environment. As a toddler, I was first diagnosed with infantile Autism. Then decades later diagnosed OCD and or ADHD. Then when hospitalized with pre teen terminal depression I grew into manic depression. The Meds over decades have changed, and services have evolved. With hospitalization for Addiction came that fresh diagnosis of narcissistic borderline personality disorder, PTSD and delusional grandiose dissociation. When the issue of a bad or dysfunctional conduct is mine, I too, prefer to be very alone.
Maybe none of these labels apply all the time, but I accept the critique. I am better for engaging each critique in order to develop new adaptive skills. Along the way, most everything I have been diagnosed with is now supposedly in remission. But, I've also told along the that most of these illnesses would never go away, much less respond to treatment. What gives? Did I do anything wrong or unexpected? Was it anyone’s fault? Domestic casualties have always been a fact of life, for humans throughout history. What’s changed? I’m not complaining per say, (well not much) but change is good. Diet, lifestyle, community changes, it's all good. When we don’t respect that people change, we are all doomed!
The whole Hard-sell for this whole wellness industry thing is a bit of a red flag giving people false hope. I think the medical industry is coming off a little too desperate to make a sale. (There's Gold in them ills.) The unexpressed expectations and costs of recovery is a big put off to many well informed clients and consumers. I would suggest we all speak proactively with your providers, and most will respect our honesty.
If there is a hole in the trust we feel, we all need to “Mind the gap.” It's not just a curtesy, it’s a warning. Physician heal thyself.
