#3. SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY DIFFERENT, VERY DIFFERENTLY.

     
         How different are some people?                                            April 25th, 2013


                  Enter:
        The Interest Based Learning;  For the love of what we can learn,  and for those with whom we learn;   I dedicate this bitter sweet love poem.

         As children we sometimes embark on journeys that take our whole lifetimes.  As children we are at times maturing too quickly, and we may be forced to be better adults than our own parents or teachers. Beginners luck and innate talent sometimes adds to this pain and chaos of prodigy.  Were you a wonderkind? Were you too an heir to the madness of inspiration, melancholy or genius?  "Mother don't let your children grow up to be artists."

         In examining different people and personal differences,  I've found that you don't have to be a genius per se in order to be absolutely brilliant about something.  In fact if you want to find out how smart someone can be, look at how a person deals with what they love, with that which is most sacred to them. Boom.

         I believe that almost everyone is exceptional in someway.  Everyone is normal in this way,  diversity is the great equalizer.  Anyone can be an outlier. (Wish I wanted to go into the math at this point.  But I don't.  Hopefully much more on the Math, Statistics and Systems analysis later.)

         Looking for that singularly distinguishing identifier is the only reason I can justify taking up to $60.00 bucks an hour for consultations and much more for parties, classes, therapy and/or conferences. I may be selling myself short again because I know how much the title of psychic or healer has been exploited.  My teacher once said, "Would you trust anyone who wanted to be a psychic?"  (paraphrased;  from 1980)   Just like a politician, "You would have to wonder if they are insane and/or corrupt."

          But then again you might worry about anyone who risks confronting overwhelming odds or opposition.  Why would anyone ever "want" to suffer the rejection of being different.

          So how different is different?  Or as a reluctant genius once said, "What is normal?" I think the point my friend made is, "Normal compared to what?" But I believe my friend was rebelling against the tyranny of enforced mental health and the way we are expected to compete for status as the "designated" Mentally Ill.  He's maybe right that everyone is sick in some way or another, but I still think he just didn't like seeing himself as different or exceptional. But he is. And that's beside the point.

          If my friend had been respected for his real smarts as a child and not been beaten into just another muscle stud with illusions of normalcy, maybe he would be less critical of my reasonable deviance from being normal.   Blah, Blah,...Blah.  That's not even the point. The question is how do we measure being different.  Very differently.  This is where the process is academic.  I've been avoiding the technicalities. Please forgive me, there will be plenty of time for modeling and mapping diagrams latter.
     
          At this point I would like to enumerate four "Styles of Evasion."

              1.  Active deception, Showing Off, Lying, Phonyness, Bragging, Exaggeration, Hyperbole,  etc.
              2.   Spacing out, Disengagement, Withdrawal, Omission, Vagueness, Aloofness, etc.
              3.   Condescension, Put downs, Dismissal,  Negation, Passive Aggression, etc.
              4.  Over Compartmentalization, Inaccessibility, Burnout, Over Conscientiousness etc.

          You probably recognize any or all of these evasions in yourself and or others.  Some more than others.  I'm showing the ways we confront or avoid the stresses of uncertainty. When in doubt, learned styles of evasion take over.  A little Meta Formally Logical diagram to demonstrate;

                                                                    2. Spacing Out
                                                         1. Lying       +      3. Condescension
                                                                    4. Burnout

          At the center of this diagram is the uncertainties we all can evade, just in our own way.  You will notice the symmetry and the two axis of polarity. Openness to these uncontrolled uncertainties is the mark of a truly open person. It is almost impossible to be open all the time. We have these evasions hardwired into our survival instincts. The next time you see someone being evasive, consider the source. They/We maybe feeling vulnerable.

          The two axis are; Horizontally,  Positive Misrepresentation of fact on the left side and the Negative Misrepresentation of emotions on the right side.     
                                       Vertically, Passive Evasion of responsibility on top and the Active Evasion of irresponsibility on the bottom.

          No point in making a big deal about the why we behave this way, even if the emergence of this kind of soul symmetry is more than many of you are going to be willing to accept. Just know that when we evade, we use energy and that any real sensitive will know it. Show a little empathy. This is where I get to show a little tact.