Confident Bonding and Unbonding

                     We are all confronted by that need to trust, be trusted, and potentially distrust and understand being distrusted. Who we choose to spend our time with isn't always even a choice. In dating, proximity of association is no longer about the boy and girl next door. By a sweep of the finger across your I phone, you might be exposed to the tinder of your dreams. It's actually very effective. Sex may sell popular media, but romance is the joyous comedy of successful personal lives. (Speaking as someone who is dismally rational to a fault, I am just as often concerned with the Confident Un-Bonding process that must precede all and any amicable divorce.) Having an "Opt Out Clause" hardwired into institutional marital contracts seems petty and defensive. But only planning to use informal commitments, doesn't protect vulnerable Newlyweds or their future families and offspring from the legalistic politics of domestic hatred. I personally believe that Romantic Objectification is just the inevitable "Complementary" reactionary brother of Sexual Objectification.

                      Finding that difficult balance of Dis-Objectification requires an honest Subjective Engagement with personal, empathic and interpersonal vulnerability. Our new romantic modern Moral Code is simply evolutionary and adaptive, even if it is still flawed, experimental and exploratory. Such candor in the face of any Confident Intimate Bonding is rare, faithful and beautiful. Normal healthy sexual and romantic tension is the wedge that was used against us to violate our fragile trust throughout our polarized nation. We collectively have been abused by the mass marketing and "Branding" of an inexperienced and unprepared presidential edition "Donbot," who blundered into the Hot Seat Of Power. When it comes to understanding the necessity for intermittent mutual distrust, we only need to consider the feelings of those who now love to hate us, another type of objectification.

                      Let it be said, "It is thus no less beautiful when healthy intelligent people love each other enough to accept if and when it is time to "Let Each Other Go." Confident Un-Bonding is often the only path to rebuilding trust. One of the most gratifying aspects of maturity is the wisdom and grace of knowing how to love potentially many people, "Without Expectation or Attachment."