One of my pleasures in study and research has been busting myths, (this one is unspoken.) One of these most destructive myths is our tendency to judge and divide people by type. Case in point. Misanthropy is nothing more than a variable of temperament. Not all misanthropes are un loving. People don't choose to be clannish either. And even then, misanthropes don't necessarily hate, they just don't care for people. Including themselves, these often wonderful people will sometimes be able to speak their minds without concern for everyones fragile emotions. This is something I don't do, and sometimes I wish I did. What I gain through kindness, I pay for with a total lack of passion and warmth. I too am very loving, but without healthy attachment. You win some and loose some. But understanding constructive polarity is always a winner.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that misanthropes are incapable of empathy or dignified self restraint. I'm asserting that being a zenophile comes with overwhelming baggage. And until I understood the importance of this grossly misunderstood difference, I was in agony. Judging myself harshly for crippling scruples, I have had little choice but to learn why everyone isn't like me. Those who are the most different share in the extreme. My friends are good people, but only about half of them are actual misanthropes. My mom was a misanthrope. She said, "You really care about people, and that's good." "But I don't." "I don't even care for my self." Hence the talk, she went on, "People's concerns are in fact for themselves only."
I said, "As they should be. Any concern we have about another person is in fact an extension of the love we have for ourselves."
The opposite of zenophilia is not misanthropy, it's xenophobia. Most people who are misanthropes would be much closer to being what I would call zenophrenic, (my invented word for, "conflicted about people in general.") Even as an involuntary zenophile I too can have dread toward other people. I just care a lot that's all. When my nervous system isn't shorting out I see the radiance of the human soul in each and every person. But some days I too feel really ugly towards strangers. But I do "always" care deeply. I love all people deeply. I've never had any choice in the matter. (I am a cup bubbling over.") Even when I feel bitter and hostile, it's always easy for me to want take other peoples feelings into consideration. I don't even have to think about it. If everyone was like me we would all starve to death out of courtesy. Thank God, (if there is a god,) for all of the angry functional misanthropes. God created misanthropes and atheists and all those other people whose enlightened selfishness is so different from me. I see everyones point of view. Thy skepticism nourishes me. Thy severity maketh my path clear of self deception. Thy criticism toughens my skin. Thy evasion quickens my step. Thy obsession with death keepeth my heart pure and unpolluted from attachment. Thy fear of death doth maketh my job of guiding you into the beyond a privilege few can ever know. Your fear of God only makes my love deeper. Thank God not everyone is like me.
If you search, zenophile, you can come to a well established group of committed bloggers advocating challenging xenophobia in all it's forms. A new approach has been to create a dialog, literally a new language of inclusion, including everyone. This language of inclusion means we seek to understand, everyone,.......without exception. I myself have had the privilege of seeing this process at work in my own studies and practice. I'm a little embarrassed to admit, I love you and I have no idea who you are. Weird. I have no idea where this is going.
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