Saturday, November 30, 2013
As a friend and a person, I need to apologize for revealing feelings that may not be helpful. Since I've closed the book on "Zenophile" and my serial novella I've had to confront an uncomfortable feeling of letting people down in my personal life.
I've been arguing rather defensively that I can't possibly feel what other people feel because I'm philosophically opposed to the pretense of mind reading. I refuse the need to presume on something as subjective, personal and inconsistent as my empathic sensitivities. And yet so much of my happiness and joy comes from awareness of others feelings. I want so much to make sense to others, that I've taken on mutually destructive opinions. This blog is proving to be the most substantial expression of religious observance and dedication I could have ever hoped for. I shouldn't have cause to believe that these excursions into the Anatomy of Intimacy are going to be worthwhile to read, but here goes anyways. As we get closer to intimacy, boundaries change.
If I'm going to map out the anatomy of an intimacy, "LOVE," I'm going to start with the individual. For this emergence of an initial separateness, a single unit entity, I would want to start with the symbol of an upward pointing arrow, just one, to symbolize the presence of a singular positive assertion. A totality. (The Spirit) As the secondary symbol I will use an "Infinity Sign" to signify the perpetual entanglement of existence with no beginning or end. (The Self) And I will close out the equation with the letter Theta to represent the Physio Emotive Field, which is that receptive awareness of existence that supports, provides and defines. But it is like a Holy Ghost, for which we have no proof other than anecdotal evidence. (The Soul) If you have any background in meta physics or esoteric philosophies you will recognize the overwhelming symmetries between my constructions and the ancient religions.
From the singularity of oneness; we stumble through into a life of infinite multiplicities, infinitudes and the mutually infinitesimal. Such is the love that for some of us finally leads to a last final phase that most will never know about until the last moment of life. As if those first two previous states of being aren't strange enough, in this last one we get to see the walls melt and all that has gone before is here now, again. I know I sound like a dribbling idiot. But I swore I would bring you a quality product and here we have it. Voila! We have an answer. It may not be the kind of answer that flatters or glamorizes, but it is consensual.
Nobody has ever said that the mystical experience would be easy to explain, but here we have it. In it's finality, whether it's true our not, there is an overwhelming concordance of descriptions about how the world is experienced by love. Of those of us who are witness to this profound nectar of bliss, we are all viewed as a little strange. Are we not all a little strange when we are in love? As I've said many times before, "Thank God not everyone is like me." I doubt we could get much of anything done. Please forgive my horrible sense of humor, I find trying to map out the meta physics of love to be a potentially very dry subject. And I think, that if there is a God, she must have a great sense of humor.
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