Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Female Dependency and the Need to be Needed



                   Now it will become obvious why I have focused so directly on personal and social boundary issues.

                   As the pro psychic it's my job to be honest and accountable to these most important concerns on the ways we experience separateness and being together. As my research suggests, Opinion Bias shapes our awareness of human contact and exposure. Boundary definitions are never more important than when we seek to understand each other. Sensitive boundaries abound.

                   As one would hope, we always need to start at the beginning with our awareness of separateness. Children ideally grow up to have appropriate boundaries. Boundaries of safety and responsibility. Our societies awareness of the hazards of childhood have definitely changed the way we care for our children. Innocence is no longer the poetic abstraction. We now have the necessary language to identify the abuse and exploitation of children.

                   We go from our childhood purity into the possible fertility of adulthood. Soon the eventualities of having had multiple affairs becomes a real concern. We will have had micro biological contact with everyone who has ever been with anyone of our possible sexual partners. Although there is risk of exposure, this isn't always a bad thing at all, (Kiss of Life. More on this interesting phenomena later.) The body is designed to recognize almost all the varieties of activating biological vectors. The subtle influences of each contact, biologically and emotionally, are sometimes lessoned with each exposer. Inevitably we may learn to love deeply without attachment or sex. This is what I called Circular Maturation. Nothing can renew a persons interest in living more than our love of each other.

                   Tragedy is, that except for in the family, most people never learn to love unconditionally. Therefore, the woman is a symbol of many things, Maiden, Mother, Hag; as in ancient goddess worship. The female intelligence is graced by this awareness of life and it's cycles. Peoples attachments are often nothing more than internalized ignorance, an understandable but often dysfunctional desire for control. An intelligent understanding of relationships requires a very honest language. We all may have that need to be needed.

                   Female dependency, in this situation is not about women on drugs. I'm referring to the ways in which men become dependent on women. This is most ironic in relation to the ways we objectify each other, 1. Sex, 2. Status, 3. Romance, 4. Token Hatred and seeking 5. Security Blankets, are all ways we can objectify relationships. The "Wheel of Objectification" is outlined in the post, "Mirroring & Empathy (Subjective Boundary Definition)" May 26th, 2013. These cycles of attraction and repulsion reflect the full domain of common human dynamics.

                   Were we to be honest about the difference between dependency and dependability, we must acknowledge mutual need fulfillment. Hence the need to be needed. Needs and wants must be balanced and kept in proportion. Our children are dependent on us. We must be dependable for them.