As this book is ending, we can put the clockworks of psychic reading back together in working order again now. We will be glad we put time into explaining the subtleties of human variability. This deceptively simple elegance of human nature must never be denied. Here we will get to itemize many of the most valuable "Mysteries of Compatibility."
First we must recognize the mechanisms of identity, "Echo Imprinting." Remember the baby penguins calling to it's unique and singularly loving parents? This happens at at least five levels of identifiable distinctiveness. There's:
1.) VISUAL
2.) TACTILE
3.) AUDIBLE
4.) CHEMICAL
5.) VERBAL
These elements of distinctive identification are then communicating for us. We can call this communicated information "Signaling." This signaling is the identifiable distinctiveness communicated both Intentionally and Unintentionally.
Our intentional signaling of personal distinctiveness, is usually done overtly as in like showing off and attention getting behavior, (often phony and self conscious). But just as often we mask insecurities behind covert displays of distinctively hiding ones self. When we hide our true feelings, problems and pain, we are usually trying to show only the best of who we are. Even though this covert style of evasion is in fact potentially very noble, it is still rather a little dishonest and sometimes extremely dysfunctional.
Our unintentional signaling of our personal distinctiveness is mostly just the "Valences" of; POSITIVE, NEGATIVE and NEUTRAL variables of distinctiveness, (boy / girl, young/ old, rich / poor, pretty / plain, etc. All socially recursive boundary distinctions form single planes of contact between any two people forming our basic Dyad.) These differences are in fact purely aesthetic. Although most people like to think that things like wealth, relative beauty and age are absolutes, from the point of view of compatibility, these are just more variables.
And now, on to the Boundary Definitions of Real Social Barriers. These are not to be confused with Valences as these distinctions represent actual distances between separate people rather than just mutually defined conjoined differences. These barriers are either Cultural or Proximal.
Our most common culturally defined social barriers are because of; Religions, Politics, Economic Status, Language Barriers, and Education.
The most common proximal social barriers are; Location, Historical Age, Approachability, and Accessibility. These issues are mostly important pertinent to our next distinction, Objectives.
Romantic objectives are the main reason most of us now days retain our "Right of refusal." In choosing someone else we need to be able to say "no." A dear friend of mine had me write a list of all the qualifications of what I would demand of my, (Design Your Own) Dream Lover. It was a devil's bargain. Anyone who could meet all my standards is out of my league, not to mention the unintended consequences of trying to date the "Perfect Lover?" This is where Games Theory fails almost every time. Humans are willful.
What are your OBJECTIVES?
Dating?
Marriage?
Friendship?
Sex?
Children?
Partnership?
Division of Labor?
Wow. That's it. Not so complicated to write down. But what a lot of stuff to have to keep track of when I'm trying to introduce people to each other. But then I have always been much more successful as a "Yenta" (matchmaker) than as a spouse. Next post, we'll be looking at Attraction and Marriage. Which now days means taking Personal Responsibility.
