I think one of the things that made fiction so unacceptable to my readers is that I have made considerable progress documenting believable explanations about the super normal. The core concepts, models and primary assertions do stand on their own. But without "Authoritation by Proxy, I felt no one would ever read my work. Add my flair for the fantastic (I'm judged by many to be a bullshit artist), I was being greedy and impatient expecting audiences to indulge in fantasy. I felt stories could illustrate the synthesis of transforming cultural influences. Even though the narrative showed some promise as a story, I was having too much fun. I'm not a novelist. A mild schizophrenic impasse was called for.
On with the work at hand. If we define projections as fiber bundles, we are able to follow lines of reason and conjecture. As with my escape into recreational writing, it is often most difficult to recognize others peoples perspectives on what we may not see about ourselves. I myself get so tired of hearing friends say, that they "Don't care what others think about them." (Sounds like just another excuse, or maybe even a pathetic plea for attention.)
"May God grant me the gift to know how others see me." There is almost always illusions that we each entertain about ourselves. Favorable and unrealistic or self defeating and hypercritical. Most people have a very predictably outworn personality and then we don't intentionally choose to contradict ourselves. The identified persona for most people is usually static and then the defenses of the ego is also going to be consistent and easily anticipated. Under no circumstances do I recommend outing each others ego defenses, unless you are prepared to deal with other peoples evasions which, if I am correct, are completely unintentional and therefore outside of each individuals ability to own without serious thought. No one is immune to the force of clarity, least of all you or me. The only reason I can say that each persons style of evasion is as distinctive as a fingerprint is because, just like the stuff we keep hidden in our shadows, our persona's are deeply ingrained. Therefore, personality is no longer subject to voluntary self control. Fortunately, for most of us, the outworn personality as well as any submerged inner shadow dynamics are not that disgraceful and so direct confrontations are usually not necessary, even when we do not understood what we are really like. Most of us do have enough internal conflict that in fact, can be both very painful and occasionally constructive.
But the irony of how little people really do understand about themselves and each other is accounted for in the way that we all have distorted self images. As a person with extreme internal dynamics and friction, I have a very broad range to my personality. I'm unaccustomed to self doubt. As well I have that rare floating point Identity that makes it possible for me to abandon myself and take flight into the fantastic and unbelievable. Hence the last week and a half of "Spiritual Fiction." I see I have much work cut out for me and I would hope that in the long run my work on personality inventory proves to be worth the time that people have given to my readings. I am blessed amongst men to care what others think and I hope to be worthy of your faith. Back to the task at hand. I will be documenting that "Normal' rift between the way we see our selves, and the people that we try to appear to be, myself included.
