"Well doc, will I live?"
"I'm not sure at all what just happened, but that petite mall seizure you just had wasn't that serious by itself, but you are also putting out trans-hemispheric microbursts that seem to piggyback on the seizure." "You tried to say something, were you dreaming?"
I tell Ben that I have the mixed blessings of dreaming with my eyes open. I deliberately distance myself from the behavior. I never did get used to it.
"Look, for all your weird brain activity, you are very healthy and there is little evidence of brain damage." "But the R E M state was sharp and it looked like you were having scores of dreams all happening at once." He was describing my secret agony perfectly. I was there to help them and yet I the one who needs help. My nausea lingers.
Benjamin persists, "I'm going to guess you were sending." "Are you conscious of transmitting data outwardly to others psychically or are you just supposed to be science fiction?" For someone who is supposed to be a cult member, Benjamin is very rational. But I never published any of my research on telepathy. Was he fishing?
"Ben, I have been working with what I call "Other Directed Communication," for most of the last twenty years." Oh well, I might as well just tell him. "I've noticed that most conversation is based on shared language." "If we can understand each other, do we really need to converse?" "I find it is much easier to let people come to their own conclusions." "Resultantly, people read my mind, but I don't have to tell them." "You are the first person I've shared this with, you asked." "Most of the time I feel like I'm telling people what to do by silent suggestion. Cueing if you like."
"That's great." Ben says. "Your profile makes you look like some crazy Napoleon, but I kinda knew you would be pleasant and receptive." " Now it makes sense, Maybe these micro blasts in your brain are echos of all your silent will." "I've noticed the way that you've gotten all of us dancing since you got here and I'm loving it." "This place has never been this much fun, Dude!" "Your not able to control this though, are you?"
"I feel like I have to focus on everyone else so as I wont be obliviously distracting people." "I've always been a little jealous of the way most people have realistic expectations of what they are going to do, instead of this scary "Flying Sickness." "I tend to believe that if it will get done, then I will be the one to get to do it." "And I really don't deserve all this attention." "The constant supervision can be a drag."
Ben Laughs. "Your alright. Seriously." "I can't find much of anything wrong with you and if I had to compare you with these medical records of yours, I'ld have to say you are going to cheat death." "I've taken up too much of your time already." "So let me take you over to Vera's office, and don't have any more seizures." "I'm going to start telling that you're doing it on purpose." He takes my hand again after removing all the wires, pulling me up out of the chair. I'm emotionally drained. I need to be led.
