I sneeze. I explode. Decades of every dream and every Deja vu I ever had or will have, flash through every cell in my being in this world and the next. Tears stream down my twitching face. I can not see the room. I am crushed by depressive weight and I want to die. This is why I abandoned prophesy. I can't wait for this life to be over.
I loose consciousness much to my relief, as would happen when I would have these cataleptic seizures. I used to get migraines before I cleansed myself of this wretched gift. Alternative Medicine may have made my life endurable but it came at a horrible price. I chose to loose the gift. I have too much work in this world to be obsessing about the next. But as is normal for a psychic, it takes much more than this to cause me to loose awareness of self. My first notice is of my eyes looking at the stars. I left my body. But Maria's face comes into view. She is screaming something at me but I can not hear. She is crying again, and I wonder how can a Forth Degree Oraca Master be so emotional. I start to surface realizing that she had pulled me out my chair, put me on the ground and was beating on my chest to get me to start breathing again. As well as C.P.R. she had been giving mouth to mouth. My eyes focus and I must have looked horrible. The stars were visible through the dome framed by the indoor tropical canopy. At that moment I thought I was in heaven.
An expression of relief came slowly to Maria's face as I started to giggle. I regained consciousness quickly. We were surrounded by a full house of Oraca. Never had a cult that I worked seemed so friendly and I feel like I know everyone.
"My name is Benjamin." Said a compact younger man as he started taking my pulse. He also was one of the new converts I met at the airport. "I will be your doctor for the evening." "Do you know where you are?" For a second I know that I must be at heaven's wonderful spa, and Ben was to escort me to my table. I think out loud, "Gee, I didn't think heaven came with a buffet." There is an audible gentle laughter from the house. The crowd starts to disperse, but I feel lingering affection from the room as if these people whom I theoretically should not know were all my dearest friends, and that I had arrived. I became accustomed to strange afterglows from the seizures but this time the warmth I'm feeling seems to be true.
"God damn, Phillip!" "What are you trying to do?" Said Maria through a twisted smile, "We just want your help." She looks to Benjamin and looks puzzled. I suspect everyone may have already said too much. Ben shakes his head.
Benjamin gestures to Bettina who was standing close, to take Maria aside. "We have a clinic here on the compound." "I will have to examine you." "As long as you are here you will be given the best of care."
"How long was I out?" I asked.
"I don't know for sure." "We all came running when we heard Maria screaming, so it probably wasn't long at all." "Let me help you up." With my right hand and his left on my arm he effortlessly lifted me. I could feel his hands downloading sensory data into me. Did these Spiritual Grad Students all learn how to send? And were they just playing me? Did they really have that much depth of sensitive feeling? As if I hadn't already been dangerously scanned, I am about to undergo state of the art medical examination. My barriers are down.
Without releasing me, Ben leads me out of the dining hall and into what seems another dream. I don't think I can wake up. I don't think the seizure is over, I'm going under again. I find my self back here with you in 2013. I'm typing this down for the first time and a wave of re-entry dread crushes the breath from my lungs. As I struggle to breathe I'm in two places at once. This is why I stopped taking drugs. I need a nap.
